myspace job networking - job search cont....

How weird does that title sound for an entry about looking for a job? Talk about a Generation Y way to try to approach a situation like this. Yes.. I posted a bulletin on myspace to see if one of my many friends (whom I don't speak with most of em all that often) could hook me up with a job. This is not an act of desperation. Just trying to pioneer the way teenager-early 20 something people put feelers out for potential job opportunity's . Okay who the hell am I fooling? I couldn't even type that with a straight face. Seriously, it is an easy way to ask all the people I know if they can hook me up with a job in a few clicks. More people then you think get their jobs because a friend of family member was able to get them in the door. That is all I am looking for. I bet I am one of the few people who said they've tried to use Myspace to look for a job. Wouldn't that be funny if Tom added a feature like that into Myspace after my pioneering! Really I am not desperate I have a phone interview on Monday with a company that I got in touch with through a conference in LA earlier this year.

This post is powered by my new Ubuntu Linux desktop at home




Ubuntu click here to learn more....

Another one bites the dust

Another very competent and downright great employee at the company I work for has decided that the career they wanted to pursue is not what it is cracked up to be. In other words, this company has forced yet another person to re-think what they plan to do with their life when it comes to work. So far there are 4 people other then myself in the last 2 months who are actively looking for a new job, are moving away from this office, or have already put in their two weeks. All of them are so turned off by this company (specifically the BS in this office) they are going in way different directions then what they had planned. Many of them slaved away in college to obtain the degrees and knowledge to get into the field they work in. Now? They rather do anything else in the world but what they've been working at for all these years. One very nice woman in the Business Development department has decided to become an english teacher. She no longer wants to do anything related to marketing. Myself? I am pretty close to taking a very regular job just to be able to go to school full time so I can work in any field other then IT. There is one underlying theme that unites all the people mentioned...everyone feels as if they are overworked and the dollars are more important then anything else that might come up. The company is notorious for being cheap and then having it bite them in the ass which is what I see happening when some of these quality employees leave.

On a lighter note....

A man with a piece of paper in his hand comes into an office where another man is sitting next to a shredding machine.
"Do you know how to operate this thing?" he asks. "I have an important paper here and I want to make sure this is done right."
"Sure," the other man answers. "Just put the paper in here and press this button."
The first man does so, saying, "Great. And where do the copies come out?

Replacing Free Dress Friday with a new way to carpool home on Fridays

Wouldn't this boost morale at the office? The Friday Party Wagon is not just for the corporate worker bees who bathe in suds to complain about work on Friday nights. I mean technically they could justify drinking with the guys if they explained to their wives the peddling cancels out the calories. This new replacement for Free Dress Fridays also caters to the group of gym rats that demanded the company open up a corporate account at 24 hr fitness. Think about the resistance a bunch of overweight co-workers will put on your legs. Not to mention water is free at bars. If the company wants to be more environmentally friendly and 'green' this is also a step in the right direction. The bone thrown to be able to wear "wacky" Hawaiian shirts needs to go and this needs to replace it.

Progression of an office cubicle

Fresh start stage: Think of this as the new born baby of office cubicles. Brand new default setup for someone's first day. Basic phone, computer, monitor, and chair setup. Like a new baby no matter if it is ugly or boring you still don't mind since it is new. No personality up front as it has not had a chance to grow. (0 - 6 months old)








Pre-teen stage: Still somewhat pleasant as young kids can be but as the cubicle grows out of the fresh start phase it slowly transitions into a cluster fuck of pictures and soda cans trying to find its own personality. The cubicle at the pre-teen stage is still predictable and tries to stay in line. Some cubicles at this stage may start to look like it's older sibling and could require Ritalin to slow down that ADD. (7 months to 3 yrs)






Teenager stage: Out of control, messy, unaproachable at times, crap all over the place, old bowls of food growing hair in places it never had when it was a pre-teen, and if the cubicle could talk it's voice would crack while yelling 'EVERYONE HATES ME' . This cubicle could use some Prozac (3 yrs plus)

Good ol Sky Mall..always entertaining

For those of you unfamiliar with Sky Mall it is a magazine that sits in the pouch on the back of chairs on flights that is a mix between Sharper Image and Crate And Barrel -sorta-. Always have the habit of reading this on flights because of how funny some of the products are. I found this on my latest flight and couldn't help but laugh. Are there people out there who have to bring their ipod to the toilet to drop a load? Couldn't you chill on the music for 10 minutes or so? Or do you have problems in that department and need to scream along to your favorite death metal track? This is coming from a person obsessed with technology but does not own an IPOD or an mp3 player for that matter (unless you count my phone but I don't use it). Personally I just don't get it.

If for some odd reason you saw this and said 'COOL' here is the link

Ipod...uhh toilet roll music player docking station thingee?

Don't you love getting back to the grind after vacation?

Let me give you a little bit of a back story before I post up this email I got that jump started my first day back from vacation. 3 weeks ago there was a little mishap with our local Windows update server and Internet Explorer 7 (not on my end and this was explained). Alot of users downloaded the update and it automatically installed IE7 messing up our time card software "TimeKeeper". The minute I realized what happen an email went out to the entire office explaining how to change the link provded on their desktop. Since engineers are notorious for not reading email and this guy especially loves to wield his god-like power over the corporate worker bees here this is the email I got.....

"Evidently the new software installed itself on my computer and I am locked out of Timekeeper.

Rather than me wasting 20 minutes finding your email and fixing the problem, please take 10 minutes Tuesday morning @ 10:30 while I am in a meeting and care of it .

Asshole"

More like rather then me wasting 10 minutes @ 10:30 why didn't you spend 3 minutes to read the email and 2 minutes to move the link to your desktop from that email weeks ago? If you really want to get technical it would take him another minute to search for the email AGAIN by hitting control+F , typing my name, and the word timekeeper. What a douche. Not even an hour "back into the grind" and I am reminded just how awesome it is to be a corporate biatch. He just as easily could have said 'Hay could you help me with the Internet Explorer and TimeKeeper issue you emailed us about while I am at a meeting' like so many other people have done company wide.

Ramblings of someone delayed 4 hrs on Memorial Day

I've been asked many times why I write a blog. Or I've just straight out been told im 'lame' for having a blog by my roommate. First and foremost I do not think my opinion is more important then anyone else's. I do not think I am an authority on being a corporate worker bee, corporate life, or anything else I post about. What I say and do on here is simply one opinion, one point of view of millions and millions. I do not do this for attention nor do I do it because I think so highly of myself that I feel that people NEED to know what I am thinking or how I feel (which is why I try to post as a generic 'corporate worker bee' more times then not). If anything comes off that way, it is not on purpose. If you were to go back to 2004 archived posts, when I started this blog, I did so out of frustration. My boss at the time drove me fucking nuts and I needed a way to vent. Everyone in the office loved him so I couldn't vent to them. My friends couldn't quite understand. I couldn't yell and it was important to just shut up to get my foot in the door in IT. No one read my blog except me. Not that many people even read it now. The point never was to be one of those "bloggers" who wants to be the next e-celebrity (no disrespect to Perez Hilton) or even have people who constantly go to my blog each day. Really it is a way for me to look back and see what the fuck I was thinking or doing on a particular day. When I look at the song I re-wrote to vent as my second entry ever I remember exactly what I was thinking when I did it. If people find anything interesting or funny, then that is a major plus. It would be a lie if I said I don't like when a co-worker emails me to say that one of my rants about the office is funny. If no one came to this blog that is fine too. If someone avoids craiglist on their path to find a new IT job because of my personal opinion on it, that's cool. If not, that is also cool. Hopefully in a few years I can come back and laugh at the stupid haiku I wrote about craigslist or how naive I was for viewing work the way I do. Shit, who knows maybe I find the job of my dreams on craigslist and look like an idiot for bashing it. People reading this long winded entry probably wonder why I don't just keep a journal, well there is a few reasons for that. One being that I am obsessed with the Internet and always in front of a computer. I could keep a journal in word format on my computer but there is always that chance the HD could burn out, it could get stolen, or in this case I leave the company that provided the laptop I mainly write on. It is also accessable from any spot that has an internet connection. On vacation in Austin I was able to use another computer to make an entry. Another is that typing on a keyboard works so much better for me as far as getting thoughts into words. For whatever reason a pen seems to slow that down. Plus you don't exactly photocopy articles you want to keep and staple them into a journal. Honestly I am just lazy. It is much more simple to copy and paste or type on a keyboard. No attempt to be deep here.


God damn, this whole entry is now the opposite of what I wanted to be! I'm turning into a blogger. My excuse is my flight home has been delayed 4 hrs and I have nothing better to do on the plane or at the terminal. Boredom and frustration really fuel most of the entries.

6th street continued...

Since we couldn't get enough of 6th street the night before we hit the street again after checking out the capital building. Saturday night is much more busy then it was Friday night. Around 11-12 or so the streets were packed with people and looked like a mini-mardi gras type area.

I was able to find a short video someone else shot when they were in Austin to give everyone an idea of what it is like. The video is not that clear but you get the picture. It really does go off. In fact is was more busy last night then it was in this video.

6th street in Downtown Austin, Texas

6th street in Downtown Austin, Texas is DOPE! If you are ever in that area and love to drink for cheap, love live rock, and just having a good time you need to stop down there. For three of us to go out and drink the entire night it was like 60 bucks which included seeing a really really good blues band that is local to Austin Texas. The show was free as long as you walked into the bar, how fuckin cool is that? The band is called Trent Turner and the Moontowers...they put on a hell of a show and everyone should check out his site

http://www.trentturnermusic.com/

We bought two CDs and left some money in their tip jar. Honestly watching him have a crazy guitar solo using his tongue was enough to bring in like 10 ladies walking down 6th street. He tried to hit on my GF but hay, the music was good enough to where it was ok HAHA

I am now the Corporate Vacation Bee for the next few days

A picture off the wing of the Skywest/United flight I took from John Wayne Airport to Denver International Airport. This is as we are coming into Denver on my way to Austin, Texas for a mini vacation over the Memorial Day weekend. So right now the job search is on hold, fixing god damn computers is on hold, and just about anything but relaxing...well sort of. This is how much my job has moved into my personal life. Last night when I was sleeping I had a dream that the new Cheif Technology Officer (that's his title unofficially but that is what he does for the company I work for) asked me to stay in Austin another day to work out of that office. How fucked up is that? Even on vacation I think about work.

Monster.com doing some shady business practices?

So just now I got an email from 'American Century Investments' telling me "thank you for my interest in my free 401(K) roll over kit." Now I don't have the best memory in the world but I think I would remember signing up for something like this. After about a minute or two of trying to remember where the hell this could have come from an email from Monster.com shows up. Guess what that says? That Monster.com recomends that I sign up with them and then in that same email says that my inquiry has been submitted on my behalf. Now correct me if I am wrong that a recommendation is not the same as being told to do something. Some may say that is not that big of a deal and Monster sells information off all the time. I know that obviously. The problem I have is with the fact that this investment company actually thinks I want or need their services. I am sure they pay Monster.com per user who signs up and I find it very funny that I was used to generate money under false pretense. Plus to make matters worse it is only a matter of time before I get calls or emails from some person with a real fancy title (Senior Advice Specialist) telling me about all the great benefits of using American Century Investments to manage my 401(k) roll over.

That is a strike against Monster.com which up until this point has been a good place to help on the job search.

As for the job search update...I have an interview with a really impressive company within the next few weeks. They are going to fly me out to meet with them in Denver and everything. Hopefully all goes well. This was all setup up using good ol fashioned networking at a conference that I attended a few weeks ago. Sometimes the old fashioned way of doing things is still the best.

Corporate Worker Bee Job Hunt: Entry 2 of ????

Now you know how I feel about craigslist I am going to move on to Monster.com which is a typical place to go if you are doing what I call "new-age job searching". The service itself is actually pretty good and I have found a number of quality job offers on this site, not quite ones I personally want, but it has brought in some very good leads. Just not ones that matched my taste. Maybe I am being too picky? Mainly the good jobs were coming from LA County more so then Orange County but that is expected as LA is a much bigger job market. I'll list a few personal pros/cons that I've come across.

Pros:
Better leads then alot of other online places to find jobs
You can setup searches to go and dig for you automatically every day (very useful)
Some interesting tips and advice on all things career related if you spend the time
It's still free

Cons:
The networking section (for me at least) has not been as good as I thought it would be
The ads are very annoying but expected as I did not pay to be a premium member
The resume builder is pretty generic and I feel it has kept me from getting certain opportunities, better off making one yourself and uploading it.

All in all it is a good place to go to find a job. So far on my list it ranks higher then everything else except for good old fashioned networking. Much better then the classifieds and randomly applying to various locations.

I bashed craigslist yet I still went to it this morning to see if any new jobs posted. Why? Heck I don't know, it is free and that is about the only reason why.

Corporate Worker Bee looking for new hive

How many entries will I have before I find a new hive? Hopefully not a hundred. I'd like to have a new job or direction by the end of summer at least.

This is week #3 officially of my job hunt. I am not 100% dedicated at this point but I thought I'd start the long process. Every entry for the next _____ amount of time is going to be on my expierences and everything that goes along with finding a brand new job. So far I've done what most people would have done. I've tried more traidtional ways of finding perspective jobs, Networking and good ol hook ups from friends. I've also have been using newer methods of looking for jobs, Monster.com and Craigslist. The haiku below should explain how the later is working out for me

craigslists weak prospects
H-R can't even spell job names
posts are decieving

If you were to go to Craigslist to look for a job in any of the categories they have you will find ALOT of misspelled enteries. Why would someone want to work for people who cannot spell Computer Technician right? Not just in one post but for multiple days. Employers should be able to spell the title of the person they want to hire. Not only that but alot of the jobs are not exactly what they say. Be wary if you do ever plan to go there to find a job. I went on a job interview the other day with a company that wanted someone who "had extensive computer knowledge (especially CAD) and experience supporting users/clients". When I showed up for the interview I was told the job would entail answering phones, do data entry, and what amounted to being UPS boy at some seedy office in Santa Ana.

Next entry: Monster.com....

Ahh the roaming co-worker in your dept, don't you love em?

For those of you who have a co-worker in your dept (or even a boss) that floats around the office like a lost soul for many many many wasted minutes upon end a game has been created just for you! With the help of a handful of Corporate Worker Bees this system and rule set has been developed.

The title? "Guess How Many Times ______ Goes to the _____ ? " We are allowing you to customize our game to suit your needs

Here is how it works...

At the begging of each morning send an email out to other co-workers or friends who know of FLOATER and ask them to take a guess of how many points they will rack up in one work day. For our game we used the front desk as the main location. Once everyone has guessed find someone that can easily look up to see if they are at said location ( The worker bees in the mail room who bust their ass help me as they have to route mail multiple times per day). That or I just look my self seeing as I am going around the office too.........to help users or go to the bathroom.

Here is the scoring system:

Person at said location (we use the front desk) = 1 pt.
Person at front w/ person they have a office crush on (may not apply to all) = 2pts.
Person at the cubicle of office crush = 4 pts.
Person running to go fetch cold stone, starbucks, or food for office crush = 5 pts.

The person with the closest amount of points becomes the winner and can be given any award you like.

Or if you happen to sit in the path of the person who has an addictive urge to wander instead of work (like myself, my desk has to be passed to get to the rest of the office) you can count the sheer amount of times they get up to socialize. We ran a test run for this game yesterday and the offending party got up 18 times (no joke) to go up to the front desk to socialize.

The more you know......

09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0

Google that!

Hotel room bordem vol. 1

If this doesn't show how bored I got at the hotel room last night and this morning...I do not know what will. Hopefully there is not a vol. 2 tomorrow because I was unable to sleep.

Google Maps to places i've been code name "London" (in regular speak a work in progress)

There is a few good places to eat on the map if you are ever in those areas and what my stay was like at some of the local hotels.

I am now giving my blog the code name 'Rome'

Parking at the convention center: 12 bucks

Cheeseburger and fries inside the convention center: 10 bucks

Seeing hundreds of IT and CAD worker bees get giddy over software with cool code names like 'Athens': Pathetic.

What happened to fixing a product that is not working properly now? Why is it 'Oh well in Vista we have changed that, if you upgrade it will be more secure' or 'That has been spoken about at the Athens round table discussion we just had and that feature will work as planned if you upgrade" The worst part is tech people ohh and ahhh over the software because it's new and has a sweet name. All techs are guilty of wanting the latest and greatest but why bother if it makes your job even more complicated and/or difficult? If XP is running just fine why get Vista? If V8 XM is getting more stable and users are finally starting to embrace this why go to Athens? Who cares about Avalon and besides that name doesn't even sound that cool. Windows Longhorn? Sweet if you are a redneck or a 12 year old boy who makes junk jokes. IT worker bees should not be salivating at being sold on the next version. They should be fuming that they have to do another big upgrade just for software to be more stable, more secure, or just work as the software company said it would.

On another note, learning new ways to approach software and best practices are useful. So while there was a lot of brainwashed IT managers and CAD managers itching to drop another house payment on code named software at the BE conference in LA there was alot to get out of it.

You know your travel alot when....

You have a rolling travel bag that has spinners on it.

You turn your cell phone off before you pull out of your driveway out of habit.

The only mall you have time to check stuff out at is the Sky Mall Magzine while you are in the air.

While reading Sky Mall you think how cool it would be to have 95 dollar solar safari hat with a fan and an 800 dollar raft for the river.

When your significant other is running late you call them to ask what time they plan on departing and if there was going to be a delay due to the weather.

Your frequent flier miles become an extension of your penis, who needs a ferrari.

You call yourself a Greek shipping heir because you've been in a Hilton literally thousands of times.

You know all the Cranium questions.....not because you are smart per say but because god damn United has been playing the same tape since the last time you got on a flight.

For the same exact reason above you know exactly what suitcase to tell Howie Mendel's bald ass to open up to win a million bucks on deal or no deal.

Your idea of a fancy meal is Wolfgang Puck Express.

Those foam horse shoe things for your neck you use to laugh at old people for holding at the terminal don't look so stupid anymore now that you've gone to and from the eastcoast non-stop a few times.

You refer to bumps in the road as turbulence to your passenger.

Ulga the grumpy TSA guard at your local airport has become like a second mother to you.

You said 'Fuck Atkins' and decided to start your own diet of free soda and airline peanuts to lose weight.

You understood and laughed at half the lines above.

Email mistakes and how to avoid them

Email is an important staple of life in general, not just in the work place. This was a jack move from another site but I think it is pretty important. I thought most people figured that these were common sense. After asking a few co-workers before I posted this I guess some of them are and some of them are not. A few are for the small business owner crowd but there is good advice. Both to keep you from looking like an idiot to co-workers/customers or from limiting your spam (if you shop online alot) Either way it is a good read...
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1. Failing to follow e-mail etiquette

I believe in the old adage, "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar." There's no point in belaboring the etiquette issue. We all know we should be polite. But here are a few points to consider:

• Don't write when you're angry. Wait 24 hours. Calm down. Be reasonable. Have someone else edit your e-mail.

• Don't use sarcasm. You may think you're clever, but the recipient will be put off.

• DON'T USE ALL UPPERCASE! That's the e-mail equivalent of yelling. Your recipient won't be appreciative. Go easy on the exclamation marks, too. Overuse dulls their effectiveness.

• Use clear subject lines. That will help people decide whether to read the e-mail now or later. We're all busy. Your correspondent will appreciate your thoughtfulness.

• Keep it short. If your e-mail is more than two paragraphs, maybe you should use the telephone.

• Change the subject line if you change the topic of a thread.

• Unless the recipient has previously agreed, don't forward poems, jokes, virus warnings and other things. You're just wasting valuable time and bandwidth.

2. Thinking you are anonymous
If you are sending nasty missives, you might think no one will be able to figure out that the e-mail came from you. After all, you set up a phony Web address. Think again. E-mail contains invisible information about the sender.

That information is in the header. All major e-mail programs can display header information. Here's how:

• In Microsoft Outlook, double click the e-mail. Then click View > Options.

• In Microsoft Outlook Express, click the e-mail. Then click File > Properties and select the Details tab.

• In Eudora, double click the message. Then click the Blah Blah button.

• In Netscape, click the message to open it. Then click View > Message Source to display the header.

The sender's revealing information is in the sections that begin with "Received:." There may be several of these, depending on the number of computers the e-mail traversed. The originating computer is in the bottom "Received:."

That section will have an Internet Protocol (IP) number, such as 124.213.45.11. It can be traced on a number of Web sites. I use InterNIC (www.internic.net). The number is probably assigned to the sender's Internet service provider, rather than the sender. But the ISP will be able to identify the sender using that number. Remember the header if you're tempted to send an anonymous e-mail. You may be less anonymous than you think.

3. Sending e-mail to the wrong person
Today's e-mail programs want to make it easy to send e-mail. This means that when you start typing the address of a recipient to whom you have previously sent mail, the "To:" field may already be populated. Be careful. Always double-check the recipient is the intended one.

In addition, if you're writing something ugly about Joe Smith, you'll have Joe's name on your mind. Don't send it to him. I once knew an intern at a newspaper who did just that. He didn't like his supervisor and said so in graphic terms in an e-mail. Then he accidentally sent the e-mail to his supervisor. (The intern kept his position, but the atmosphere was cold, to say the least. And there was no job offer at summer's end.)

4. Using one e-mail address for everything
I have four different e-mail addresses: private, public, one I use for online mailing lists, and another for when I go shopping online. These addresses attract mail for those specific areas.

I can have as many as I want, because I host my own e-mail server. But if you are using an Internet service provider, you still can do this. Most providers will give you a half-dozen e-mail accounts. You can also use addresses on the Web for personal accounts. Both Hotmail and Yahoo! are good. You can reach those accounts from anywhere, assuming you have Web access.

5. Forgetting to check all of your e-mail accounts
Checking all these accounts can be a chore, especially from home. So I use ePrompter (www.eprompter.com), which can check 16 different password-protected accounts. Best of all, ePrompter is free. There are other programs that will do this for a fee, including Active Email Monitor (www.emailmon.com).

6. Clicking "Send" too fast
Reread every e-mail before you send it! I actually get e-mails from job applicants with misspellings and missing words. They all go to the same place: the garbage. This is a pet peeve. I'm not going to hire someone who is careless.

Even if you're not looking for a job, you want to be careful. People will judge you subconsciously on mistakes. No one is perfect. But you can catch 99% of these problems by rereading the text.

And don't depend on the spell-checker. It will catch misspellings. But if you use "four" instead of "for," or "your" for "you're," it won't tell you. It also is not likely to catch any missing words in a sentence that you inadvertently failed to include. So take a minute and reread your text. Don't look like an ignoramus.

7. Forgetting the attachment
This seems obvious, but I can't tell you how many times I've received an e-mail with a missing attachment. Since we all do it occasionally, it shouldn't be a huge deal.

However, if you consistently make this mistake, people (perhaps important people) may think you're losing your marbles. They might even hesitate to do business with you in the future. When you get ready to send your e-mail, think: "What am I forgetting?"

8. Using your ISP's domain and not your own
Make your company look big. If you use a Web account or an ISP's name for your business, you're not going to look professional. You can buy a domain name separately for $20-$30 per year from a company such as VeriSign (www.netsol.com), or as part of a package from a Web hosting and e-mail service such as that offered by Microsoft Small Business. Assuming someone else hasn't already grabbed it, you can have your company in the domain name.

Let's say you run The BoolaBoola Co. If you use an ISP's address, you would have something like JoeBoolaBoola@SomeISP.com. But if you buy your own domain name, it could be Joe@TheBoolaBoolaCo.com. That's much more likely to impress your customers.

E-mail is almost like talking. We use it so much that we don't really think about it. But there are rules and courtesies, just as there are with talking. And there are other considerations involved in communicating by written word only.

Giving them some additional thought could make your e-mail experience more satisfying and your recipients much happier.

Men being fashion idiots in the work place or a female journalist being an overcritical idiot? YOU decide!

Your fashion-sense or lack there-of could be offending the eyes of your colleagues and recklessly endangering your career!

Here are 10 of the most common fashion crimes along with tips on how to avoid them:

1. Backpacks. OK, maybe this is just a misdemeanor, but you're trying to climb the corporate ladder, not hike up a mountain.

Carry a briefcase or messenger bag -- and if you need something for your gym clothes -- invest in a nice-looking gym bag.

2. Clashing or too many colors. A coat of many colors may have worked for Joseph, but you, my friend, should limit each outfit to just three colors or shades.

Stick to complementary colors (those opposite from each other on the color wheel) or colors from the same pallet. Match pale clothes with light-colored shoes and dark clothes with dark shoes.

3. Stained clothes. Don't be that guy who's unwittingly walking around with red sauce on his shirt.

Make it part of your daily routine to inspect your clothes when you take them off and when they come out of the wash to make sure you don't miss a spot. Watch for yellow circles under the armpits, soiled collars or cuffs.

You may even want to keep a stain stick in your desk at work.

4. Ill-fitting pants. Even if you're sure of your size, always try on pants before buying them, because different brands have different lengths.

Jeans can be worn to the bottom of your heel, but your khakis or dress pants should end at the top of the heel. Make sure they don't reveal any sock as you walk-- or more than a couple of inches of sock when you sit. Too tight or too baggy won't cut it either.

5. Ponytails. You're neither a wizard nor a rock star. And even if you were, admit it, doesn't Michael Bolton look much better now that he's cut his hair? If you must keep your hair long, make sure it's neat and clean and doesn't fall past the base of your neck.

6. Novelty ties. It's okay to express your individuality through color or pattern. But stick with the classic width of about three-and-one-quarter inches and make sure the colors and patterns complement the shirt you are wearing. Not make people scratch their heads and say, huh?

And one more thing: When it comes to how a tie hangs, it should reach the top of your belt buckle and have a dimple in the center of the knot.

7. Too much cologne. If you must wear cologne, get a quality brand. And since the same cologne smells different on each person, make sure to test it out and get some opinions.

Beware of mixing too many smells at once. Remember, if you wear an anti-perspirant or aftershave, the scents can mingle for an unpleasant effect. And don't be too liberal in your application. The safest bet is to avoid wearing cologne all together and let the clean smell of soap do the talking

8. Funky facial hair. If you're going to do facial hair, do it right. Keep any mustache or beard trimmed. Don't wear a soul patch (that little rectangle of unshaven hair beneath your lower lip) or uni-brow (try waxing or laser hair removal). If you're prone to stray nose or ear hairs, please invest in a special trimmer.

9. Too much jewelry. A simple watch is all you need outside of a wedding band or class ring, if appropriate. Save the gold neck chains, bracelets, pinky rings and facial piercings for after hours.

And the most heinous crime of all:

10. Comb-overs. Draping or otherwise "arranging" those nine hairs on top of your head into an elaborate comb-over doesn't actually work for Donald Trump. He only gets away with it because he's the boss. If you are follicly-challenged, embrace it. Keep your hair cropped short, or shave it all a la Michael Jordan, Andre Agassi or Howie Mandel.

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Before someone gets offended and asks themself (Cuz no one leaves comments here but will email me or verbally tell me about an entry) "How does The Corporate Worker Bee know a woman wrote this".....I don't. Just call it a hunch. Most men I know in the work place cannot even remember what someone wore the day before let alone what their backpack means in moving up. Don't even get me started on "clashing colors" or too much going on the front of your tie. If this article doesn't scream female journalist it must scream queer eye for the straight guy corporate edition. If I had to vote between good information and pointless article? My personal vote goes to pointless write up, regardless of gender or sexual preference. This is just down right retarded. Yes, dressing the part makes you look more professional but if a company passes on promoting a hard working individual because they didn't realize you can't wear a dark blue shirt with black pants then maybe the person worrying about that needs to get fired. Or at least sent to the Style Network as a producer.

And if you think I made this list up the link is below...

Link to Story at CNN.com