This email was fwd to me by another super cool Corporate Worker Bee like myself...this is one data processor speaking to someone in marketing about how sweet it is to spend most of your time inside a 4x4 foot cubicle as someone who never gets the respect they deserve
>> VERY VERY old document processing worker bee 4/18/2007 2:34 PM >>>
Yer hired! As a Document Processor, you'll receive a reduction in pay, respect, and sanity. No longer will you have to suffer from the harsh glare from sun or witness stabbings in the Hyundai parking lot. You'll be transported from your run of the mill boxed in office to an open-air, team-building, ComfortSpot. Yes, your new ComfortSpot takes all the best aspects of the boring old office and adds the improvements to safety and comfort everybody is looking for. No longer will you fear permanent cornea damage from harsh sunlight, you can take comfort in your occular safety with our Gallant Grey SoftWalls. PLUS! Gallant Grey is safe for those who suffer from Melanophobia, Leukophobia, or Chromatophobia. And lest you feel it's too dull, every SoftWall has .00000000000000000000000000000000000000001% tint of a color of your choice!! Are you a bit clumsy? No problem! Never worry about giving yourself a concussion on you hard unyielding office walls...your ComfortSpot SoftWall is gently padded to avoid unsightly contusions. No place to hang your Scrapbook art or nephew's monocolored scribblings? Look no further than your SoftWall...all you need is Accessory CS-SW:PPGG, with these pushpins (in soothing Gallant Grey) you'll always have a spot to display these important documents.
Now on to shit-I-don't-want-to-work-cuz-it's-almost-breaktime-but-need-to-stay-at-my-desk- until-then-time-killer...below is a link to have Artie of Howard Stern Show/MadTV fame call a friend, co-worker, or family member up and say crude things you tell him to say to them. This "service" of course is to promote Howard TV's free preview (yet another time killer that will pop up here)
http://howardtv.varitalk.com/
