This email was fwd to me by another super cool Corporate Worker Bee like myself...this is one data processor speaking to someone in marketing about how sweet it is to spend most of your time inside a 4x4 foot cubicle as someone who never gets the respect they deserve
>> VERY VERY old document processing worker bee 4/18/2007 2:34 PM >>>
Yer hired! As a Document Processor, you'll receive a reduction in pay, respect, and sanity. No longer will you have to suffer from the harsh glare from sun or witness stabbings in the Hyundai parking lot. You'll be transported from your run of the mill boxed in office to an open-air, team-building, ComfortSpot. Yes, your new ComfortSpot takes all the best aspects of the boring old office and adds the improvements to safety and comfort everybody is looking for. No longer will you fear permanent cornea damage from harsh sunlight, you can take comfort in your occular safety with our Gallant Grey SoftWalls. PLUS! Gallant Grey is safe for those who suffer from Melanophobia, Leukophobia, or Chromatophobia. And lest you feel it's too dull, every SoftWall has .00000000000000000000000000000000000000001% tint of a color of your choice!! Are you a bit clumsy? No problem! Never worry about giving yourself a concussion on you hard unyielding office walls...your ComfortSpot SoftWall is gently padded to avoid unsightly contusions. No place to hang your Scrapbook art or nephew's monocolored scribblings? Look no further than your SoftWall...all you need is Accessory CS-SW:PPGG, with these pushpins (in soothing Gallant Grey) you'll always have a spot to display these important documents.
Now on to shit-I-don't-want-to-work-cuz-it's-almost-breaktime-but-need-to-stay-at-my-desk- until-then-time-killer...below is a link to have Artie of Howard Stern Show/MadTV fame call a friend, co-worker, or family member up and say crude things you tell him to say to them. This "service" of course is to promote Howard TV's free preview (yet another time killer that will pop up here)
http://howardtv.varitalk.com/
3 comments:
LOL. i can only guess who that VERY VERY old word processor worker bee is.
Did I forget to mention the Freedom feature of the ComfortSpot Career Cube? If you're like millions of other workers, you've no doubt found yourself trapped in your office at some point or another. You'll never have to worry about that in a ComfortSpot! Using our patented Open Access technology, we've eliminated the need for a heavy unyielding door that can all too easily become jammed, locked, or otherwise blocked...leaving you helpless and trapped inside. Rest easy that with Open Access technology on your side, you'll always have trouble free ingress and egress to your ComfortSpot Career Cube.
You may find that your ComfortSpot really is your favorite and most comfortable spot!
BTW, VERY VERY old? Tsk tsk tsk...that's so beneath your humor...that'd be like making a height joke. But I wouldn't resort to that, 'cause I'm a bigger man.
When you resort to things like this, it makes me ever regret voting in favor of allowing smurfs to have their skin bleached so they could try to make it in regular society.
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