Who doesn't like to be tossed a bone right? I know there are people out there who LOVE buy one get one free deals from various companies. Shit, I love when the Improv hooks me up with 4 free tickets as long as each ticket holder buys two drinks at 10 a pop! We feel like we are getting something special so in turn it makes us feel special. In my opinion, the top bone thrown to us corporate worker bees is good ol 'Casual Friday' or as I like to call it Crappy Hawiian Shirt Day. Forget Cake Day or the summer picnic. Two cheers for Crappy Hawiian Shirt Day!! Does this fall under the 'we are getting something special so we in turn feel special' category? I think it does! Nothing says thanks for working until 11 every night this week while ignoring your children or loved ones more then the ability to trade in your solid blue button up shirt for a button up shirt that has slot machines and cherries.
Let's not forget how important this day is in corporate America. In fact, this day is so important in corporate America that 'Casual Friday' is actually mentioned as part of the recruitment/hiring process. To the genius in a suit who thought of this day to boost morale in place of higher wages, better benefits, and a better working environment, I salute you!! Thank you. My buddies and I will smash our Corner Bakery cups together at lunch in a toast just for you!
Monday, July 17, 2006
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Cake Day!!!!
Cake and an office go hand in hand. Cake is now a staple of your diet thanks to your fellow co-workers. Every few weeks an excuse comes up to eat cake. Stephanie's son finally learned how to wipe his own ass at the prime age of 6. Blanche go pick up a cake for 3:00 break!! Summer starts in 2 and a half weeks? Muhfucka where is the carrot cake at? Now there is nothing wrong with cake itself. Cake is good from time to time. Sometimes you need that sugar rush to be able to finish up the spreadsheet you've been working in all day. So you ask, where is the real problem? The problem is the women in the office who constantly complain about gaining weight because of treats brought into the office while at the same time shoving icing and chocolate mousse down their throat. Shame on you aging 60 year old woman who so badly wants to be 25 again, put down the cake and quit bitching!
Thursday, September 30, 2004
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Why the Internet keeps corporate workers sane
Why is the Internet the greatest thing to hit the office? Because workers get to waste time playing games, chatting, or reading personal email. Before the
Internet what did the peons around the office do? They constantly
worked. There was no alt-tabbing between the latest sports news and
some half ass spread sheet. There was constant busy work. Busy work that everyone was trained to do in public school. Work that causes postal workers to well, go postal. All corporate workers feel a little better at the end of the day knowing they get paid shit an hour.....but of those 8 hours an hour was spent fucking around on the Net. The Internet keeps office workers, who otherwise would flip out, sitting in their cube clicking away at the latest shitty flash game instead of stealing, shooting, and gossiping in the office.
Internet what did the peons around the office do? They constantly
worked. There was no alt-tabbing between the latest sports news and
some half ass spread sheet. There was constant busy work. Busy work that everyone was trained to do in public school. Work that causes postal workers to well, go postal. All corporate workers feel a little better at the end of the day knowing they get paid shit an hour.....but of those 8 hours an hour was spent fucking around on the Net. The Internet keeps office workers, who otherwise would flip out, sitting in their cube clicking away at the latest shitty flash game instead of stealing, shooting, and gossiping in the office.
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
What job number do I bill songs to, Mr. Upper Mangement?
On the first day of work,
my asshole boss sent to me
A 500 page report to photocopy.
On the second day of work,
my asshole boss sent me
Two pointless tasks,
And a 500 page report to photocopy.
On the third day of work,
my asshole boss sent me
Three paper cuts,
Two pointless tasks,
And a 500 page report to photocopy.
On the fourth day of work,
my asshole boss sent to me
Four angry engineers,
Three paper cuts,
Two pointless tasks,
And a 500 page report to photocopy.
On the fifth day of work,
my asshole boss sent to me
Five gossiping office hens,
Four angry engineers,
Three paper cuts,
Two pointless tasks,
And a 500 page report to photocopy.
my asshole boss sent to me
A 500 page report to photocopy.
On the second day of work,
my asshole boss sent me
Two pointless tasks,
And a 500 page report to photocopy.
On the third day of work,
my asshole boss sent me
Three paper cuts,
Two pointless tasks,
And a 500 page report to photocopy.
On the fourth day of work,
my asshole boss sent to me
Four angry engineers,
Three paper cuts,
Two pointless tasks,
And a 500 page report to photocopy.
On the fifth day of work,
my asshole boss sent to me
Five gossiping office hens,
Four angry engineers,
Three paper cuts,
Two pointless tasks,
And a 500 page report to photocopy.
Monday, September 13, 2004
Monday again...
Yes oh yes. Monday morning. After slaving all last week only to burn most of the weekend recharging the batteries it is time to work. Everyone's favorite day of the week. You know the day where every non-starbucks-loving-son-of-a-bitch wants to smash every coffee drinking prick co-worker's skull in when they say 'hay wake up buddy, we got up at the same time and im awake'
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